Exhibitionism and it's inverse voyeurism are two of my favorite experiences to engage in. Heightened perception, accelerated heart beat, and the hairs all over one's body standing upright may all occur when putting on a salacious show or sneaking a peak and watching others copulate. While images of creeps wearing nothing but trench coats and flashing bystanders or jerks lurking in the bushes and stealing looks at the most intimate moments of unsuspecting strangers might come to mind when thinking about exhibitionism and voyeurism, consent is crucial.
Intentional gatherings have served as generative spaces for me to explore these kinky desires in mutually safe, respectful, and consensual ways. Even while the threat-of-getting-caught factor isn't present at an adult event where attendees opt into a setting designed for sexual exploration, it still feels risqué for me when I expose myself (not just or even at all in terms of nudity and penetrative sex) at a play party or swingers club. Whether there are just a few or dozens of onlookers, it is such a trusting and vulnerable act to open myself up to a psychic exchange where strangers can see, hear, and formulate thoughts about my deeply rooted erotic inclinations.
My most public kinky experience occurred this past Fall. As much as I love going out with friends, I sometimes enjoy the thrills of venturing out by myself. During my last visit to Chicago, Illinois I wanted to explore some of what Chicago's kink and BDSM scene had to offer. After doing some research, I stumbled across a Halloween-themed heavy metal BDSM party. I'm not a "metal head." And despite the dive bar setting, I was intrigued by the lively festive vibe, pop-up sex toy shop, and Mistresses demonstrating their skills using wax candles, knives, needles, their stiletto heels, and other kinky implements on eager players.
After watching the composed and dexterous Mistresses have their way with prior participants who were either restrained to an X-cross or hand cuffed to a chain link fence, I decided to offer myself up. It was such an exhilarating experience, and so far it was the largest crowd I've been flogged and paddled in front of. At a certain point, I was in subspace, so I wasn't sure exactly how much time passed. (I estimate the DJ played several songs before I interrupted the scene and asked to be released.) Reflecting on this experience makes me realize I have a deep yearning to do kinky things in public spaces in front of large groups of people.